Your energy has the answers.I’m sure we all experienced doubts before.But there are two types of doubts.
One feels like this: I don’t think this is for me, but let’s see… you’ve got a child's curiosity and are not attached to the results. Well done! That’s a phantom fear that you can overcome. What you want is on the other side of the doubt. Visualize doing the thing, get on your high horse, catch the momentum, and there you go, dancing like a ballerina so smoothly and effortlessly, wondering if it was meant to be.
The second feels like this: My head wants to do it, but my shoulders shrug, I contract, I have a panic in my body and constant dilemma in the back of my mind… Yet you keep ‘cheering’ yourself: Damn, get over yourself and do it. Should you get over yourself? By any means but not on the account of your innate personality, instincts, and wellbeing.
An experience during a 5rhythms dance workshop helped me recognize the difference between my body saying “yes” and “no.” We got into pairs and followed the instructions to dance with our little yes, a big yes, maybe, a little no, and big no…Not only I got to feel it during the somatic practice but I also observed it in the other.
Energy is real, and it cannot lie. Observe it! An example of rushing into things before dancing with doubts: I doubted a certain opportunity. My mind told me - so many people would like to work alongside celebrities; come on, suck it up, and do it. My body told me - you had other exhaustive plans, and you need to rest in between these properly. My desire to be like the ‘others’ who’d love this opportunity got a hold of me. So, I gaslighted my instincts and preferred not to even read the contract. I signed it on the spot to make myself do it no matter what. Later, I discovered a threat of a big fine for breaching the contract.
Long story short - I fulfilled the contract and survived.But was it an experience I’d repeat? Definitely not.I could have lived and thrived without it altogether. Take your time to dance with your doubts. How does a little yes feel in your body? How does a big yes feel?Can you listen if there’s a “no” to be heard? Can you arrange your life so you never need to do anything if your body screams a big no?
With Love,
Pavlina
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